Lawyers’ Lampoons

1. A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points three identical parrots on a perch and says,”The parrot on the left cost RM500.”
”Why does it cost so much?” asks the man incredulous. The owner says,
”Well, the parrot knows how to do legal research.”
The man then asks about the next parrot and is told that one cost a whopping RM1000 because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows how to write a brief that will win any case in any court.
Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot and is told that it costs RM2000! He asks “What can it do?”
“To be honest,” the owner replies, “I have never seen it do a thing, but the other two parrots call him Senior Partner.”


2. What do a lawyer and a sperm have in common? A one in three million chance of becoming a human being.